04. I Gotta Break These Chains

Female Announcer: Just so you know, this episode includes discussions about drug use, and towards the end there’s a couple of swear words.

[Music: Devonte sings a haunting vocal track with an angelic chorus of backup vocals]

Devonte James: I used to smoke and drink just to unwind

So many days and days they passed me by

It was to numb the pain like novocaine

But my problems only seem to circulate

I gotta break these chains…

[Sounds of the breeze and birds chirping]

Speech Thomas [VO]: Devonte James is on the way out of the Richmond City Jail.

For a while now, he’s been ready for a change, starting with his clothes.

Devonte: The first time I took the jumpsuit off, uh, man, it was an incredible feeling.

Just after 14 months wearing, you know, just a blue jumpsuit every day and just finally having to wear my clothes, you know, it just…

It was a euphoric feeling, like, being able to feel grass, like, you know, being able to hear cars, you know, just seeing people, man! It’s, it’s great man.

[Music: Laid-back, rollicking hip-hop beat with joyful splashes of trumpet (“Professional Dreamer” by Matt Large)]

Speech: Devonte is experiencing his first taste of freedom in over a year.

He’s graduated from the re-entry course on the inside, and now he’s on a work-release program, which means he gets to leave jail during the day for job training.

So far, he’s got two weeks in the program down, with three to go.

Three weeks until total freedom. But, for now, at the end of every day Devonte heads back to the jail and back into his blue jumpsuit.

[Sounds of outdoor setting]

Devonte: I’m dreading having to go back right as we speak.

[Music: Laid-back hip-hop beat ends with a punchy note played by trumpets]

Devonte: But you know, I’m not gonna do anything to mess this opportunity up.

[Music: Theme music plays, consisting of a choir of men snapping and humming with a hip-hop beat underneath their voices]

Speech: From Narratively and VPM, this is Track Change.

I’m Speech Thomas, a musician and part of the hip-hop collective Arrested Development.

Devonte is one of nearly 2 million people locked behind bars in the United States.

Garland Carr (singing theme): Concrete barriers, cold and gray

Speech: We’re at the Richmond City Jail, in Virginia. And I’m here as part of the REAL program — that’s “Recovery from Everyday Addictive Lifestyles.”

Garland: Good Lord, carry my soul away

Speech: REAL’s goal is to help incarcerated people stay sober and stay free after they’ve been released. And I’m joining the program to work with talented songwriters, singers, and rappers.

We’re recording an album to chronicle their lives as they try to break free of the cycle that’s trapped them.

Garland: Rage and pain, bearing down on me

Been so long since I’ve been free

[Music: Theme music ends by fading out in an echo]

Devonte: Hey, I’m Devonte.

Group of men: Hey, Devonte. 

Devonte: Today I feel amazing.

It’s really inspiring just being able to fellowship with you guys, man, just being around such positivity, man. It’s, it’s a great feeling.

Speech: Devonte’s at a group meeting in the REAL recovery house. That’s one of two places Devonte is allowed to be when he’s released from jail for the day: here, and at his work training program.

In fact, this is where Devonte will go after he’s released from jail.

When he moves into this place, he’ll be required to attend 90 support meetings in his first 90 days.

Devonte: If I was to not, you know, go to this recovery house, I’d be going back into the same environment, which led me into incarceration.

You know, I got a lot of family members who are still actively involved in drug sale and drug use.

Speech: That’s why Devonte needs the REAL House.

Once he’s released, he wants to spend time with his family. But with his family, comes drugs.

Devonte: My family is going through financial burdens right now.

And I want nothing more than to be the savior, you know?

But I know based on the lifestyle they’re living, if I did that, I would only be enabling them.

So right now I’ll just focus on putting me first, man. Number one. Thanks for allowing me to share.

Group of men: Thanks for sharing.

—

Speech (to Devonte): Okay, so we’ll record that first, let’s get this mic ready…

[Sounds of Speech moving recording equipment]

Speech [VO]: After he comes back from his programs outside, Devonte and I meet up in the studio, to go through the music he’s been working on.

Devonte: This is my first time being able to actually touch a guitar in a while.

Speech (to Devonte): Wow.

Devonte: Yeah.

Speech: I wish I played myself, man. I don’t play, but I wish I did.

Devonte: Oh, you can learn, man.

Speech: I know. That’s what I’m, I — you know, a friend of mine tried to teach me, and… to be honest, I don’t have the discipline and, and the patience.

Devonte: [Laughs] That’s what, yeah, that’s what it is…

Speech: You know what I mean?

Devonte:  Yeah. That’s, that’s what you gotta do, man. You gotta dedicate…

Speech: Exactly.

Devonte: …a lot of hours to it. If you really want it, man, you’ll, you’ll achieve it.

Speech: Let’s hear some stuff.

Devonte: Alright.

[Sounds of Devonte picking up his acoustic guitar]

[Devonte speaking while playing arpeggiated chords]

See, love…

It’s a beautiful thing

and the solution to so many problems

You see, the more we focus on love,

the more we love, we manifest in our lives and the lives of others

Speech [VO]: Devonte tells me that his songwriting was influenced by a phone call that he had with his mom, Crystal, who has her own history with incarceration.

Devonte: She really wanted me to break the cycle, cause everyone in my family’s, man, been going back and forth to jail, so…I’ll make a song, man. Make a song about that.

[Devonte resumes spoken word]

For the only cure to hatred is…

More love

[Devonte transitions to playing the same chords in a propulsive rhythm]

Uh huh

More love, man

Uh huh

[Devonte begins rapping]

The world counted me out

Thinking I’m just another Black man,

looking for yet another handout 

I’mma prove ‘em wrong and succeed

the power lies in me

to be what my son needs me to be

as a father

Better build it before your life is over

with so many people just fighting to stay sober

Slaves to a drug

Their lives is now roller coasters

uh huh

So listen to these words

Just listen to these words when you think life is over

hold up

[Devonte sings]

More love

More love

Let’s make the world a better place

With more love

[Devonte stops singing and playing guitar]

Speech (to Devonte): Nice. I love that. I actually like that, um, those verses and stuff…

[Music: Drawling, soulful beat with a wistful tone(“SNFS” by David Gregory)]

Speech [VO]: The way I see it, Devonte is just really starting to find his voice as a musician.

And when it comes to crafting a song, he can play guitar, he can write lyrics, and write dope melodies. But he’s not really sure how all of these things fit together. 

And as he’s getting ready for this release, I see his life imitating art in a way.

How can he balance staying sober, distancing himself from drug use, and maintaining a relationship with his family? These are the questions that he’s tackling.

[Music: Drawling, soulful beat ends]

Speech: After we get out the studio, Devonte tells me where his head is at.

Devonte: I’m just more so enjoying the small bit of freedom I have, you know? 

Speech (to Devonte): Yeah. yeah.

Devonte: Just a bunch of things that I took for granted.

Speech: No doubt. Is this your first time in? 

Devonte: Uh, no, but this is my first time ever doing like, time time. 

Speech: Can I ask, what were you in for in the first place? 

Devonte: Um… “Possession of a firearm by a person, adjudicated delinquent as a juvenile.” 

Speech: What does that mean?

Devonte: [Laughs softly] I know, right?  

Speech: [Laughs] For real. I don’t even know what all that’s…

Devonte: ‘Cause I, I caught a, I caught a felony as a juvenile…

Speech [VO]: Basically, because he was found guilty of a felony as a teenager, Devonte wasn’t legally allowed to carry a gun.

He says he kept a gun on him anyway because he needed it for protection while dealing drugs.

Devonte: …and, you know, with the lifestyle I was living, you know, I kind of felt like, better get, better to get caught with, with it than without it, you know?

Speech: He says that one night, he got into an intense argument with the mother of his child.

The neighbors called the cops on him and booked him on a charge of assault and battery of a family member.

That assault charge was eventually dropped.

But, it was during this arrest that the police also found Devonte’s gun, so the state charged him with possession of a firearm. And that’s what got him here in the Richmond City Jail.

Devonte: And, yeah, the rest is kind of history. [Laughs]

Speech (to Devonte): Yeah. 

Devonte: I learned a lot from this though, so I’m not even angry or…

Speech: Yeah.

Devonte: …resentful anymore. Probably needed this.

You know, probably needed this environment.

Speech: In a way, Devonte feels like he’s doing his penance. He tells me that it’s his fault that his son’s mother, his high school sweetheart, lost custody of their son.

Devonte: You know, we, we started dating or whatever, and um…

You know, me living the lifestyle I was living, uh, I influenced her without even knowing I was, you know. And um, that’s why I feel so guilty for this.

But yeah, she ended up doing the very drug I was selling. And, um…

She’s, she’s, she’s really struggling right now, battling with the heroin, uh, addiction.

Speech: When Devonte went to jail, his son’s mother was given custody of the child. So he gave her money to support them while he was gone.

But this ended up enabling her addiction. She nearly overdosed.

Devonte: Yeah. And, um…um, the state…state had to get involved.

Speech (to Devonte): Yeah.

[Music: Drawling, soulful beat returns]

Speech: I remember, at this moment, being impressed that Devonte understood the damage that he’s done and that he was remorseful.

Devonte: ‘Cause, you know, lifestyle I was living, I may have been killed or killed someone.

Speech (to Devonte): Yeah.

Devonte: For something stupid, you know?

Speech [VO]: But I could also see that this wasn’t just about Devonte’s choices. It was about his whole environment and the family he grew up in.

Devonte’s mother was a single parent working to raise three kids. Devonte says that she started selling drugs because she wanted to give them a good life.

She wasn’t trying to get them involved. But, Devonte says he couldn’t help falling into the pattern.

Devonte: It’s destined for me to be this, you know?

I just started to embrace it, man. And that was like one of my biggest mistakes, man.

[Music: Drawling, soulful beat ends with a wistful guitar melody and softly echoing chords]

—

Crystal James: I can’t wait until he gets home, and I feel strongly that he won’t make the same mistakes. And I feel like he has changed a lot. 

Speech: While she’s sitting in her car, Devonte’s mom, Crystal, talks about how hard it’s been to have Devonte locked up.

Crystal: Devonte is a very, very, very positive person. Um…

And I really, I really don’t know, like, what happened. But I blame myself a lot.

Because I feel like I didn’t, um, I couldn’t teach him how to be a man.

And he lost his father…

‘Cause I made a lot of mistakes also, I feel like I didn’t do the best that I could have done.

Speech: She says that as a kid, Devonte had so much potential.

Crystal: [Takes a breath] He had so many opportunities growing up, I feel like he could have went to the NFL. 

But because of me, uh, not being there for him, he dropped out.

Speech: Crystal is waiting for Devonte outside the jail. She’s hoping to spend some time with him, by taking him to his job training program.

Devonte: I appreciate you coming to get me, Mom. 

Crystal: Oh, no problem. 

Devonte: Every day. It’s great.

Crystal: No problem. Um, I feel like, you know, um, it’s my, my obligation, my duty to do this. And I don’t know, I just see a change in you. Um, you know…

You just have, like, a glow, or whatever. You just seem like you’re all into the program.

Devonte: Yeah, I am. So I appreciate you.

Crystal: Well, I, I feel like I, you know, I’ve been on this journey with you the whole time, like…

Devonte: Yeah.

Crystal: …when you locked up, actually, I feel like I’m locked up. I feel like a piece of me is missing.

Speech: One of the only restaurants on the way to the job training center is McDonald’s. It’s the same McDonald’s Devonte stops at every day.

Devonte: Oh yeah, we gotta hit this McDonald’s, I’m tired of jail food.

Crystal: [Laughs]

Speech: They park the car, and Devonte jumps out to grab his food.

Devonte: It’s time to seize the day. 

Crystal: Seize the moment. 

Devonte: Yeah. Thanks Mom. For the words of encouragement.

Crystal: Oh, no problem.

Devonte: Love you, girl.

Crystal: Love you, too.

[Devonte and Crystal laugh together]

[Sound of a car door shutting as Devonte gets out of the car]

CARITAS Job Trainer: So we’re doing a class this morning, and this afternoon you’re gonna have one-on-one help with volunteers to create a resume that is unique to you.

Speech: At the CARITAS job training center, a staff member is helping Devonte write up his qualifications.

Devonte: So I’m putting my strengths right now. So, I got: I am ambitious, motivating, hardworking, able to inspect and maintain machinery.

A team worker, able to complete tasks simultaneously. A fast learner, an intellect, great listener with effective communication skills, and punctual.

Oh yeah. Creative. Definitely gotta put that.

[Music: Upbeat, keyboard-driven hip-hop tune (“4 Malcolm” by Sarah the Illstrumentalist)]

Speech: Sarah, the director of the REAL program, has always insisted men in the program treat it like a job. From the moment they leave their cell in the morning, they’re expected to take everything they need with them for the day, just like they would if they were heading off to work.

So while a few weeks of job training with CARITAS may seem like a small thing, it’s part of a bigger picture that Devonte’s been putting together since his very first weeks in jail: building towards independence.

[Music: Upbeat hip-hop tune ends]

Devonte: Good morning, CARITAS family and friends. I’m Devonte.

CARITAS Group: Hey Devonte, you’re awesome! Motivate me, friend!

Devonte: What motivates me to work hard?

Um, a huge motivator is someone telling me I can’t do something. That’s huge. There’s no better feeling than proving someone wrong.

And with that, I have a song.

[Sounds of Devonte strumming the acoustic guitar]

[Devonte singing]

More love..

Say more love…

Let’s make the world a better place, with more love…

—

Speech (to Devonte): You can start whenever you want.

Devonte: [Starts playing the same guitar chord progression from the first session]

[Devonte begins to sing]

I used to smoke and drink just to unwind

So many days and days they passed me by

It was to numb the pain like novocaine

But my problems only seem to circulate

I was afraid of change now I embrace

‘Cause it’s the only way that I’ll ever break these chains

I gotta break these chains

I gotta break these chains

[Devonte shifts into rapping while playing the guitar]

I gotta break these chains

and stop making my family endure pain

I know a child without his father’s hard to maintain

I now realize there is no other way 

I must embrace this change

if I’m going to break these chains

I want to pave a way for all the youngest to follow,

‘cause they livin life 

without a care for today or tomorrow…

Speech: Yeah. I love it. I love it. I think it’s powerful.

See, like maybe even both of those could be involved, you know what I mean?

Like, the one that has the same chorus but different lyrics, I feel like, could possibly even be melded, and you know, you feel like that, too.

Devonte: Yeah. Thank you, man.

Yeah, you definitely were a huge inspiration, man. You know, like, um, I’m not really trying to make music that I hear nowadays, you know.

I like to do something to kind of strengthen and empower.

Speech: No doubt.

—

[Music: Instrumental layers of “Broken Chains” — Soulful, slightly spacey p-funk bassline, synth chords, and a melody played on timpani]

Speech [VO]: On Friday, Devonte’s getting out of jail for real.

He talks with Charlie, the manager of the REAL house, about how he’s feeling.

Devonte: I can’t lie, man. I’m a little, I’m a little nervous about getting out, you know?

Just because, you know, I’ve already got messages on my Facebook where people who knew me from my past, you know, asking me different things, like, “Yo… You, you still smoking? Do you know where to smoke?” You know?

Charlie: You got friends that get high.

Devonte: I mean, I don’t consider them friends now, but…

Charlie: Right.

Devonte: …in my past, I did. 

Charlie: Yeah. You know, cause that’s what I was dealing with too when I got out. You know, that’s why I kept coming back.

You know, I kept dealing with them when I got out.

Then when I get out, I started hanging with them, and then we start back using…

They don’t never go to jail, I always be the only one to go to jail…

[Music: Instrumental layers of “Broken Chains” fade out]

Speech: Devonte knows that those old friends of his – they’re only going to hinder his progress.

Devonte: I know y’all ain’t going to lead me down no path to destruction cuz y’all on the same page as me, so —

Charlie: You know this, this is a bad area, right? How you feel about that? Coming to a recovery house in a bad area.

Devonte: [Chuckles] I don’t know anybody out here. I ain’t tripping about that. I don’t know none of these people.

[Music: Instrumental layers of “Broken Chains” fade back in, anchored by Devonte’s acoustic guitar]

Speech: With his release just around the corner, Devonte has been thinking about all the things he wants to get done.

[Music: Drum beat and other instruments join the guitar]

Speech: He wants to get a home where he can have a room for his son to sleep in. Get a license and get a car to drive. And, he doesn’t want to have to worry about the police walking behind his back.

He wants to make new friends with positive mindsets. He wants to start a new business.

But with so many new possibilities, it seems like Devonte is kinda losing his grip on the foundation he’s built.

Like his mandatory meetings at the REAL house.

Devonte: The meetings thing, yeah, I’m kind of burnt out on meetings. I can’t even lie, man. 

Speech: He’s also tired of going to his Narcotics Anonymous meetings.

Devonte: It does work for people who need it.

But yeah, I’m burnt out. So I’mma, I’m, I don’t need that in my life.

Speech: When I hear Devonte say he doesn’t need to go to these meetings anymore, it worries me.

I’m not sure if he’s overwhelmed, or overconfident, or both. But after hearing him talk so much about breaking away from the family and friends who enable him to relapse, all I can do is hope that he stays the course.

—

[Music: Instrumental of “Broken Chains” ends on a ticking beat, played on a hi-hat]

Guard (to Devonte): Before we do this, I need you to sign some stuff, alright?

This is your probation, this form right here, this gets you released.

Devonte: Mm hmm. 

Speech: It’s Devonte’s very last day in jail. He’s dressed in his outside clothes, wearing a nice t-shirt and jeans. He looks happy.

Guard: I’m gonna have you sign here…

You’re gonna sign both copies. This is gonna be your copy, this is gonna be ours, just sign both of ‘em for me, alright?

Speech: Devonte signs all the paperwork, and heads through the door.

Guard: [Speaking into a radio] Going out.

[Sounds of a voice confirming on the other side of the radio]

Guard: Thank you.

Speech: He goes through the last door, and he sees the gate leading to the outside world.

Devonte: Finally out. 

Guard: And hey, be easy, all right? 

Devonte: Oh yeah, always. Always.

[Sound of gate closing and Devonte stepping outside]

Devonte: Ahhh…Freedom! [Giggles]

Freedom.

[Sounds of outside fade away]

—

[Sounds of Devonte entering Crystal’s home and greeting his family]

Speech: Devonte goes to see his mom at her home. He’s hoping for a cheerful gathering, big hugs.

But when he comes in, she’s on the couch. Her energy is low and she seems distracted. To Devonte, it seems like she’s so high that she doesn’t even notice him coming in.

Devonte: All right.

Crystal: [Speaks in slurred speech] 

Devonte: 20 minutes.

Speech: He doesn’t want to say anything about the situation. He figures he’ll just get his stuff, and he’ll leave.

But he sticks around when he hears his mom get on the phone with his Uncle Mike.

Crystal: [Crystal speaking into the phone] Mike, D came home today.

Everybody is so excited and so proud.

Devonte: [Laughs] That’s great. Great. I’m glad to make you guys proud.

Speech: Devonte holds the phone, and he just listens to Uncle Mike over the speaker. 

Devonte: Mike!

Mike: Yeah.

Devonte: How you doin though, man?

Mike: Man, I’m doing great.

You know, being incarcerated, it’s a life saver. Yo. If it wasn’t for me doing my bit, I wouldn’t never be doing what I’m doing right now.

That’s why I thank God for every second I did, y’all. For every fucking second I did. I thank God for it.

Devonte: Damn. That’s, that’s kinda how I’m feeling. 

Mike: Thank God for that. Because, man, it gave me a chance to work on myself without a lot of outside distractions and a lot of interference. I was able to make myself a better person.

Devonte: Yeah.

Mike: You know, you gonna have rough days, you gonna have them days when you gonna question yourself and ask, “Yo, why I’m doing this shit?” [Laughs]

Devonte: [Laughs] Yeah.

Mike: But if you can get through those bad days, which gon’ come far and in between…on those great days, you ain’t gonna remember the bad days.

You know, just stay positive…

Devonte: Gon’ try to my best to get to where I want to be.

Mike: It’s time to be, time to be selfish. Aight, peace.

Devonte: Aight, love you, Mike.

[Sounds of the phone beeping and a chime sounds as Devonte walks through a door]

Speech: After picking up his things, Devonte gets ready to head over to the REAL house.

Before he gets on his bike, his mom comes out on the front porch to say goodbye.

Crystal: All right, D, love you.

Call us when you get back to the place.

Devonte (from a distance): Okay. Bye, love you.

Crystal: Aight, see ya.

[Sounds of a motorcycle starting, revving powerfully, then fading into the distance]

Speech: And then… she watches him ride away.

[Music: Intro to “Broken Chains” — gentle acoustic guitar accompanied by a mournful-sounding cello]

Devonte: [spoken word]

They said I’d never stand out

I’ll always be part of the crowd…

But imma prove ‘em wrong

Hold up

[Music: Hip-hop beat and bassline drop, creating a bittersweet blend of hip-hop, R&B, and pop]

[rapping]

The world counted me out

Thinking I’m just another black man looking for just another hand out.

I’m gonna prove ‘em wrong and succeed, the power lies in me

to be what my son needs me to be, as a father

It’s time to build it before your life is over

With so many people, just fighting to stay sober

They’re slaves to a drug, they’re lives are now rollercoasters

Their lives are now rollercoasters

So listen to these words when you feeling like life is over

I said, listen to these words when you feeling like life is over, hold up

[singing]

I used to smoke and drink just to unwind

So many days and days they passed me by

It was to numb the pain like novocaine

But my problems only seem to circulate

I was afraid of change, now I embrace

Cuz it’s the only way that I’ll break these chains

I gotta break these chains

I gotta break these chains

I gotta break these chains

I gotta break these chains

These chains… yeah…

[Music: “Broken Chains” ends]

—

[Music: Upbeat, high-energy hip-hop tune (“What” by Aldous Young)]

Speech: On the next episode, we catch up with the men who’ve made music with me inside the Richmond city jail: Teddy, Garland, Anthony, and Devonte.

Sarah Scarbrough: He would say, “If I go, I am scared of this happening again, I am scared of being exposed to the drugs. I can only stay away for so long.”

Devonte: When I left the program, I left everything that I gained in the program, as well.

Teddy Jackson: This where I’m livin’ at right now. Everything I own is…under that blanket.

Speech: We all went in that studio in 2017. I haven’t spoken with some of these guys in several years.

So I want to know, where are they at now? What’s going on with the REAL program? And what can we learn about helping people who are trapped in a cycle of incarceration?

—

Speech: Track Change is made by Narratively and VPM, and distributed by the NPR network.

This season was produced by Liz Mak, James Boo, Nidhi Shastri, and Noah Rosenberg.

Fact check by Sara Herschander. Audio mix by Sound Sanctuary, and theme music by Garland Carr and Renzo Gorrio.

Special thanks to Devonte and Crystal, for sharing part of their lives with the world.

This season was adapted from original footage from the documentary film 16 Bars, with support from the filmmakers at Resonant Pictures. You can watch the film at 16barsthefilm.com.

Songs from the 16 Bars Original Motion Picture Soundtrack are used with permission from the copyright holders. Devonte’s song, “Broken Chains,” courtesy of Eric Michels.

If you want to hear the complete song, check out trackchange.vpm.org.

This podcast was originated by our Consulting Producer, Sammy Dane. Sam Bathrick was also a Consulting Producer.

Our Executive Producers are Noah Rosenberg, Joe Lamont, and me, Speech Thomas.

Our Producers from VPM are Meg Lindholm and Gavin Wright. VPM’s Chief Content Officer is Steve Humble.

To learn more about the work that REAL is doing to help formerly incarcerated people stay free in Virginia, visit reallifeprogram.org.

See y’all next time.

[Music: Upbeat hip-hop tune ends]